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Meet Cherry |
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“Our date
was great! Why hasn’t he called?” (Or “Why doesn’t she call
me back?”)
Does that line sound familiar?
It was a line I used many times as a single person. And
I hear it many times as The Hollywood Dating Director.
Years ago, I was a dating disaster. I botched every relationship
I had (or could have had) because I knew nothing about relationships
and how they worked.
Having never been taught how to have a relationship in school,
I had to learn.
(And you can too…if you’re anything like I was.)
Let me tell you a little story about one of my greatest
dates.
When I was 38, I joined a dating service. And through this
service, I met a man.
Reading his profile gave me chills. Seriously. Learning
about who he was made the hair stand up on my arms. I knew
I’d met him even before meeting him.
When he showed up at my door he was more magnificent than
I’d even imagined. Perfect height, sharp suit and he spoke
with an English accent. (LOVE the accents!) And he drove
a Porsche. (I know it’s superficial.) And took me to a fabulous
restaurant (Very hip. Very cool. Very LA.) where we had
a wonderful time…and I knew I’d met my man.
After dinner, he kissed me on the doorstep. (A long, passionate,
better than chocolate chip cookie kiss that Kevin Costner
talks about in Bull Durham…that went on for at least fifteen
minutes kiss!) (I swear!)
It was GREAT!
It made me light headed.
I was dizzy.
And then I fainted.
Seriously.I woke up on the brick floor and he was over me
saying, “Take deep breaths. Take deep breaths.” And as embarrassed
as I was, I knew I’d met my man. I knew we’d laugh about
this for years! About how we met. About how he kissed me
on the doorstep and I fainted!
I told my friends. I told my Mother. Even a psychic said
he’d come back from another lifetime to marry me. I was
validated.
I planned the wedding.
And then I realized…he hadn’t called.
He Has Not Called.
So…I called him.
And I sensed when we spoke he couldn’t get off the phone
fast enough. But before we hung up he said, “We should get
together.”
And I said “Great”.
And that was the last time we ever spoke.
So what the hell was that? What the (bleep) happened? I
couldn’t for the life of me figure it out.
And (aside from fainting) it wasn’t the first time this
had happened. I had many dates with men who never called
me back.
I polled my friends. I called my Mother. What’s wrong with
me? Why do men invite me out and (when I think we’ve had
a good time) never call me back. What’s going on here?
No one had the answers.
No one.
Until…(finally).
“I dunno, Cherry,” my male friend said. “I love you. I think
you’re great. I want to be your friend. I’d love to do business
with you, but…I gotta be honest…I’d never want to date you.”
“You wouldn’t?!?! Why the (bleep) not?”
“You’re too powerful.”
“Powerful?”
I’m too powerful? So? Isn’t that a good thing? I’m raised
to be powerful. I’m raised to do good…to be all I that I
can be. (Roar!) Isn’t that enough?
Uh, evidently not.
Not in a relationship. At least not in the kind of relationship
I wanted to be in.
In essence, my friend said I was too masculine. I overpowered
men and I didn’t even know it. I thought by working hard
to impress them, I’d somehow win them. I had no idea how
working so hard was soooo working against me.
I had to figure it out. I had to do something different.
But what? I didn’t know.
I didn’t know how to act or who to be or what to say to
get what I wanted.
I didn’t know about roles in relationships or who I was.
I set the stage in theatre, but I knew nothing about setting
my stage for romance! (I didn’t know my style.) (Or what
the choices were.)
As a director, I knew dialogue for stage, but knew nothing
on how to speak to get my needs met in life.
And I knew if I didn’t figure something out, I would stay
single the rest of my life.
(Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Single is a
great lifestyle. There are many advantages.)
But I wanted the opportunity to experience myself in long-term
relationship. Marriage wasn’t necessarily the goal (although
I have a great one). Learning how relationships worked,
about who I was in one and about it lasting longer than
a year and a half…that was the Big WOW. That is what I wanted
to experience.
So I started learning.
My biggest lesson came from making a film called DUTY DATING,
a romantic comedy about a woman who on the advice of a love
doctor does all the right things to marry the wrong man.
DUTY DATING is practice dating. It’s going on dates with
people you don’t like so you can rehearse what you would
do when you really like the person. It’s being with people
you wish would die on the way to the bathroom so you can
learn more about who are in a relationship.
I had many duty dates. Maaannny opportunities to learn.
During the four years of writing, directing and producing
the film I practiced on a “dress rehearsal” relationship.
Although that man wasn’t my man, I learned a lot on how
to be in a relationship and how it all works.
After finishing DUTY DATING, I was on a sailboat in the
Mediterranean with my mother where I met a very cute French/Italian
man named Lorenzo. I used what I’d learned making the film
and Lorenzo and I were married in Italy in 2002.
And I here I am.
A much better woman. I attracted a great man and have a
great marriage. I’ve learned to act more feminine so I can
work less. I’ve learned to dialogue rationally and not be
so dramatic. I’ve learned how to set my stage for love and
life. And it’s working. It feels really good.
Now, as The Hollywood Dating Director, I teach others how
to “act” to have the romantic relationship they want.
We’re not talking about “acting rules” here. We’re talking
about “acting from the essence of your being”. Acting from
your authentic self as a woman (or a man) to get what you
really want.
We’re talking about understanding the importance of roles
in romantic relationships and knowing how to get in and
out of them when appropriate.
We’re talking about setting the stage for the style of romantic
relationship you want, rather than creating drama and co-dependency
the rest of your life. (Not that there’s anything wrong
with that. Some people prefer drama.) People have different
styles. People have different needs in a relationship. You
can set the stage to attract exactly what you want to attract.
We’re talking about dialogue so you can better communicate
and negotiate in love. (And lest we not forget…dialogue
for getting through those difficult, awkward situations
every one has in dating and relationships.)
And so much more. |
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| “Cherry
and I were single girls in LA. I wanted to be Cherry.
She was successful, beautiful and gracious. I was
baffled at why she was not married or in a long-term
relationship. We attended get-a-husband seminars together,
went to the right clubs for unhappy hour and shared
disaster date stories. Cherry and I were struggling
screenwriters always looking for our next hot script
concept. So after Cherry told me about a series of
hysterical dates with men of little interest to her,
I said that sounded like a movie and suggested she
write a script. She did and the screenplay became
DUTY DATING. As Cherry worked on each new draft of
Duty Dating in preparation to shoot the movie, she
researched dating and relationships. She used what
she learned to make her film, but also more importantly,
to marry her fabulous husband, Lorenzo.” |
| Sharon
Y. Cobb, Writer/Producer, Jacksonville, FL |
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| “I
first met Cherry when she cast me in a movie she was
directing called DUTY DATING about a woman learning
how to have a romantic relationship. At the time I
was having serious relationship problems of my own
and I was fascinated with her realistic, mature, insights
about men and women. She was able to talk about relationships
in a way that made them seem less complicated and
far less confusing. A revelation for me at the time!
I am now extremely happily married and I owe that
in part to the magical timing of meeting Cherry all
those years ago.“ |
| Lauren
Sinclair, Actress & Writer |
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Does
this sound like something you want?
If you’re tired of your relationship dramas
and are ready for a new direction click here: The Role of
a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Romantic Relationship
to learn more on how I did it and how you can too.
I promise you. I would not be a happily married Dating Director
today if I did not know my role, my stage and my dialogue
to keep our relationship on a healthy and intimate course!
So that’s my story and I’m still learning.
You can too!
If this feels right for you, join us and be a part of our
romantic adventure! |
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| The Hollywood
Dating Director |
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| p.s.
If you haven’t already, sign up for my FREE
Dating Directions to
receive useful dating and relationship tips so you
can Star in Your Own Love Story! |
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